And the moral of the story is

Ode to Amma

2011-11-09T21:01:00.000-08:00

Written while waiting in front of the Neuro ICU, Lakeshore Hospital, Kochi, on Monday, 29th of August 2011

10.30 PM

There's nothing more, pure I've known,

than your quintessential love

and world doth know, from scores of years

the strength of a mother's love.

As a young boy, been blessed to be,

your favourite little child

the one for whom, you always kept

the best of your lot.

The freedom which you gave me still

lingers in my mind,

the trust with which, you let me grow

has made me who I am.

Those teenage days, my wanderous ways

my tryst with good and bad

was something only you understood

and loved me just the same.

On many days, when fate brewed chafes

you were the standing light

keeping the family tight, and spirits light

with your self effacing love

Pain sets in me, to see you fight

that dreaded disease you're with

I hope and pray the morning light

doth prove it to be a myth

And if its not, then I do pray,

that you know this clear, my dear,

I’ll forever hold you near in my heart

in the walks of my life.

God's Own Attitude

2011-08-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

What's with the malayalee and his age old attitude towards women who dont conform to their mental stereo types ? especially if it is a woman ?

The live television melodrama, where a famous cine personality ridiculing a TV anchor, explains the heights of this so called 'Malayalee Attitude'

(video attached below - for people who cant understand malayalam - well then you wont understand what I am talking about ! ).

http://youtu.be/EKuc7xwcFgY

You should see this episode where Jagathy insults the anchor. Shame on him ! he does this in the disguise of her talking too much during the award ceremony. Who is he to say how to conduct MCing / achoring ? who is he to become an unsolicited, insulting teacher in front of national television ? I definitely see that it stems from the common malayalee attitude of going against anyone who don't conform to their idea of a malayalee woman....and sure Ranjini Haridas (TV Anchor) does not conform!

I have seen this again and again and again. For many, and sadly including men who were born post 1975 (considering them relatively younger !) , there exists a pattern of hating any woman who does not conform to the 'malayalee manka' type of a behaviour.

If a girl puts forward an argument very well, then she becomes a 'thandedi', if she is good looking and takes to flaunt a bit, then she is a 'goner' in every sense. If she is intelligent, then a typical malayalee cant take it. How can she be more intelligent than a man ? I have seen failed attempts of men trying to prove a point to an intelligent malayalee woman, only because she is a woman ! I could not help laughing at attempts of this nature. I can recall vividly of various divorce cases stemming from a marriage of an intelligent woman and a dumbo who cant stand the fact that his wife is more intelligent and capable than him.

Forget about anyone who gets in to the entertainment arena, then a lot of them generally believes they are of 'lose' moral characters. And we call ourselves the most literate state in India.

I know that there are people who dont like this anchor for various reasons.....and this blog is not to prove whether she was right or wrong. But I see the huge uproar of approval from malayalees all over because she does not conform to their 'standards'. If a 'Kavya Madhavan' would have been insulted like this, and surely she would have ran away from the stage crying, then you should have seen malayalee rage ! Jagathy would have been history. So our modern day 'Indulekhas' have to take it all with humility, when people of true lose characters adorn the center stage and assassinate their characters.

No wonder, Chandhu Menon's Indulekha became so famous, and that's what I have named my daughter.

Claimer : I am a male. And I am not a feminist or a supporter of such movements, and certainly not a fan of Ranjini Haridas, nor do I know her.

Philately and a boy in the 80s

2010-11-27T23:27:00.000-08:00

Its the times of mobiles, and laptops and the internet. Blogging, microblogging, and social networking. App world, in various markets apple, android, and zillion others.My daughter of 5 plays around with the apps on a variety of gadgets. At 35 , I kind of reminisce of my time as a school boy going through the motions of understanding the world and its heritage.

Philately was one (I knew this term 'philately' way in to my adulthood ). We simply called it 'stamp collection'. I started in 1984 with a stamp someone gave it to me , I vividly remember it was an UAE stamp ! Ha, no surprise, its the land Kerala has taken over since there is no more space in Kerala for the 'literate' population. But I started with this one stamp. A sheikh, I dont remember the name, may be the current ruler's father. Then started my first introduction in to the world of stamps.

The first and foremost rule. No stamp which was not 'stamped', was invalid. That unstamped stamp was considered a fake, even if it was original ! Only a used stamp had a value, it was a way to ensure that there was authenticity. And then we started trade. Primarily within brothers, I had two, and very shrewd ones so and so that I slept with my prized possessions under my pillow. Then came the friends who also had stamps, with in weeks it became a market. We set ourselves the value of various country stamps depending on their rareness in our cirlce, for eg Tanzania was not much in demand since most of them had Tanzania stamps. CCCP, Magyar Posta, Espana and Polska was also not rare, they were normal stamps. The visually intriguing triangle stamps of Malaysia and the round stamps of Singapore was a craze though. The rarest of stamps however, in our circle, were countries like Djibouti, which had much bigger stamps – in sizes, and A R Egypt, Belgium, New Zealand etc.

Then the trade started full fledged. I soon had a bounty. I had an album full of foreign stamps and one album of Indian stamps. The Indian stamps were not worth much for any trade since everyone had it. I learned the basics of demand and supply during these transactions, and of consumer behavior. Just with one stamp, and not putting in a rupee in to this hobby the collection grew. Until I reached a certain 'critical mass' in stamp collection I didnt even have a stamp album. I was making do with an old jam bottle to keep my stamp free from damp. After that it grew big, and of course my dad had to buy me an album to store these stamps.

I learned primarily two things because of this hobby and another much later in life. The first thing was

I could grow the collection, despite not having a great stamp album and from my little jam jar.
I could learn about countries all across the world and what happened there just by looking at these stamps.
I understood that the more rare something is, even if its doesn't ring a bell, it is precious for the 'market'
I learned that in the market, it is not what you have to trade, but how rare is your offering is.

The second learning was the silent learning I had while I was going through my stamps. I understood in 1984, that 'Magyar Posta' was Hungary, 'Polska' was Polan, 'Espana' was Spain, 'Nippon' was Japan, ' CCCP' was USSR, without Google, or without any teacher telling you this or through any other method. That was the power of the 'market' ! Which mainly comprised of 10 yrs olds who knew the countries of ALL stamps which were in the 'market'

And also I learned about the happenings there, the Algerian war through its stamps, Charles De Gaulle through France's stamps, the country which never had the name written except the silhoutte of its queen........and also I never knew why I had so many stamps of Thomas Jefferson. Because I had so many of it, it was the one I would offer first to exchange.

This brings me to something about India and its recent history. If you look at the countries I have stated it would tell you more about where Indians were, and the kind of countries India had commerce, or any other relations with. I really till today do not know how I ended up with so many Hungary stamps, may be India had so much of Govt communications with the then communist nation ! Poland also for that matter, Romania too. And CCCP, I dont know about any of my near and dear ones living in Russia, but CCCP was such a common stamp.

Coming back to Jefferson, this is a person whom we dont even know when we study in India. History lessons in the 90s did not include anything about American History, except a paragraph about American Revolution. So once I set foot in the USA, and when I started reading American History, I could place Thomas Jefferson in my mental map; from the ubiquitously available stamp I once despised.

Later I visited Monticello, in Virginia where the great man lived once upon a time. I also assisted in redoing his rendition of a Peach in to a logo for my first company Peachtree Business Solutions. I never knew in 1984 that this man was this great !

Now, at 35, when put my intelligence to work and understand these simple logical sequences, I still feel Philately makes a lot of sense. If you can start a hobby to the younger ones, where they have to prove their worth in something other than money value; and where they have to acquire something more than what money can achieve; it would be a fair hobby. It can shape characters, it can intrigue them in different ways.

In these days of Googling and facebooking, things would definitely change, and for the right reasons civilizations should advance in such a way; but the curiosity to learn more, and the art of making something out of nothing should for ever continue.

Touchings !

2010-07-19T09:31:00.001-07:00

You see these people every time you travel international, the ones who are pushy in getting things done their way, with no respect for people around, nor the airline rules.

And mainly the reason why airlines treat customers traveling in different sectors differently. when you travel international especially ! SFO / JFK - Dubai (one of the legs ‘yours truly’ frequents); the airline treats you with some dignity. The same falls down like Obama’s poll numbers when you connect from Dubai to another one of your Indian destinations.

I have always felt that airlines do some sort of stereotyping, but is there a reason...boy oh boy, travelers give them enough and more chances.

This incident happend two months ago while I was coming back from a weary 6 city trip in the US, all dreary eyed and just wanting to get back home, this happens. What happens ? a nice flight from SFO to Dubai, and then they announced for boarding the Kochi bound flight. Here comes the mad rush, from you dont know where ! Groups of people fighting to get in to the line, even if the boarding zone was only A and they were in say E or F. They didnt care even if they were in Z. And another group of people who are standing with utmost respect for the melee and do not want to board even if their zones are being called for, since they lack the capability of whisking their way through the thick wall of ‘human backs’. Now this ever increasing wall includes, young, old, fathers, mothers alike.

I finally make through the E zone announcements even though I had a B zone, which is mostly towards the last end of the aircraft - I like it there. Seasoned travelers know that air-hostesses like passengers who can take care of themselves and give them as less job as possible. If you want to refill your drink, you could may be walk by to their bay and ask for a refill, some allow you to operate it like your bar, some politely refill your drink; thanking the gesture that you didnt make him/her walk all the way to your seat for a refill.

While I was entering the aero bridge I noticed a colorful couple, they were in their late 30s I suppose; swearing at various things the airline was doing wrong. I could not grasp any of it, since I didnt find anything being done wrong by the airline. He was a walking ad for a booze company, no - many booze companies. He wore a T - Shirt which read ‘ Keep Walking’ a freebie of Johnie Walker, a duffel bag of ‘Cutty Sark’, a key chain of ‘Jack Daniels’ and I could not bother to see what else were freebies of booze companies. Finally, I figured out, the problem the couple had with the airline is the cabin baggage restriction. Now which airline has not got this restriction ? but that logic would not fly in the face of these couples. Who were of the opinion that there is so much ‘forced’

purchase in Dubai and people have filled the cabins; that is why their meagre ‘cabin baggage’ could not be carried. Now mind you, this duffel bag of ‘Cutty Sark’ could have carried my golf kit with ease, I could have also thrown in my kid’s Costco size diaper box along with it and still this ‘Cutty Sark’ would have handled it. But he wont budge, this pet ‘Cutty Sark’ of his should be taken as cabin baggage.

Then there were some arguments about how he has travelled from Oman and how everyone accepted the ‘Cutty Sark’ with out a problem, and why was Emirates pulling a fast one on him. His wife was more vociferous, defending the ‘Cutty sark’. During these altercations, the attendant in the aerobridge had a call in the walkie-talkie he had to attend, and there goes the husband, wife and the ‘Cutty Sark’ in to the aircraft through the business class entrance. Certain other non ‘Cutty Sark’ people also followed suit, before the attendant came back and stopped the rest of them entering through the business class entrance. And I think to myself, where the hell is this guy going to keep that bag which can be charged for oversize even if it was checked in as cargo !

I go through my motions, pick up a ‘Gulf News’ paper and sit in my seat, and prepare myself for a short 4.5 hr travel to Kochi (after a 16 hr travel over the north pole, Dubai -Kochi is a cake walk - its only one movie long ). There comes along the couple figuring out their seats like how two lost buffalloes would come back home after dusk from a different village. Still they were lugging their ‘Cutty Sark’ around until they stopped near my seat.

And I am again like this guy in ‘Sussana’ song - saying to myself ‘Why now, why me, why ?’.....and he announces that he has found his seat and it was the one next to me. Both of them treat the seat like a lost and found item, and figure out where to keep their ‘Cutty Sark’. They try hard on top, bottom, no way, the ‘Cutty Sark’ wont budge. Finally the man declares aloud that its the responsibility of the air hostess to keep it in and not his. He sits and leaves the ‘Cutty Sark’ on the way blocking traffic on the alley. Now a steward arrives and patiently asks him for his boarding pass, and says that he will take care of the ‘Cutty Sark’. At this point in time, if I could I would have awarded the ‘Nobel Peace Prize’ for the month to this steward ! I can think of any human being who can be so patient. Finally our hero, the owner of ‘Cutty Sark’ smiles brilliantly and has the look of a winner.

The flight takes off and we do our normal grinds. He tells me that he has a lot of bottles in the ‘Cutty Sark’ and even though there were difficulties he somehow managed to get his duffel bag through the cabin.

Captain switches of the seatbelt sign, and here comes the request for drinks by the hero from the neighboring seat.

His order is very clear on top of his voice; ‘Maadum - two large Braahndi please. And one bottle of beer’

He starts his braahndi drinking campaign as I watch. He took his repeat of two more braahndi, and beer, mixing both in to a froth before gulping it in.

Now comes the next request - ‘Maadum - can I have some touchings please ?’

This request nearly floors the hostess, and I cant control my laughter any longer since I knew exactly what he was meaning. The hostess, a blonde east European lady asks him what he meant by ‘touchings’.

Hero - ‘ Like mango pickles, or any other pickles or dried fruits to eat along with the drink’

Hostess - ‘ oh Ok ! I can get you some biscuits if you need’

Hero states categorically- ‘Maadum - Biscuits are not touchings’

The hostess was relieved that he only meant some short eats by saying he needed ‘touchings’; but was not very fond of him asking again and again for ‘touchings’. There were other curious Georges too who were wanting to know if there were any ‘touchings’ given.

Anyhoo, after a while he was happy with what ever ‘touchings’ he got and and the plane landed. We were all taking out our bags, and I took out mine too. Two 1 litre bottles of liquor stood out of my cabin bag. Hero gave me a splendid smile and said, ‘You too taking drinks eh ? enjooy, enjooy’ and tapped my back. As I was leaving the airplane I heard another round thunderous altercations between Hero, heroine and a group of stewardesses. I didnt have time to hear what was happening, since I had wanted to get home soon.

But I overheard another man saying ,that the hero is angry since the steward checked in his oversized bag........good Lord ‘Cutty Sark’ would have sunk in the baggage section with its payload of whiskies. I turn back one last time to see if hero is alright; all I could see was a huge crowd of people and airline staff gathered around the hero and heroine who were fighting like pitbulls.....and I just caught a glance of the Captain too interfering.

But he looked more like a referee in a boxing match to me.

Doing the things all over again

2009-08-19T23:52:00.000-07:00

Recognition is a double edged sword. When someone recognizes you , you feel good. But when that girl from the tele-marketing company recognizes your voice, when you told her ' call back in half an hour' ; you dont feel so good. Even after you say you are the servant in the house and the master is out of home; she knows its you.

But have you experienced this ? when you want to be recognized by your bank for eg , for what you are as a customer, there goes all the identification. The lady from the home loan division knows you only as a home loan customer, the savings bank guy knows you only as their customer etc. Indian IT companies implement the best of CRM systems all across the world. Siebel, Clarify, Vantive so many not even known now CRM packages were born in 1999....but even today 'Customer Relationship Management' is a night mare for many of the Indian conglomerates. Is it because we lack a Unique id ? aren't we tracked through out our lives based on some number or the other like Student Number, Roll No, Employee Number etc ? go to a bank and they give you a customer number, you go to the same bank's Insurance, Equity Division, Home Loan service, Credit Card division......boy, you are a new comer in all of these places.

Why cant these people have their IT re-architected where in if the press in key details they will find the relationship they have with the bank and know what all products he has purchased from the bank and their net customer value ?

This has been lacking for years now, nearly 9 yrs after the popularization of CRM....

Wont it be nice for the Insurance division manager to know that the person has been banking with the same bank for 10 yrs and that he person is an elite customer in various divisions of their bank ? Instead why do they insist on having a track record in their division all over again ?

Track records....credit track records.....civil records....when will all these parallel records end in India !

Mr. Nilekani please track us fast.

Media Psychosis

2009-08-11T01:14:00.000-07:00

Well, we all love to watch the news; and Rakhi Sawant's swayamvar / parenting, etc etc.....we also take a peep at the 'People' Magazine or some related tabloid on the grocery store aisle.

But guys, when it comes to an intellectual argument ! Media is the one who is hyping things up on everything. Hell, I am not justifying what the media does now a days, but aren't we getting what we asked for ? Someone said (you can google it, dont remember the name), "in a democracy, people get the Govt they deserve" (local residents of UP I did not intend you). In the same taste dont the people get the media they deserve ?

If you dont give so much importance to Rakhi Sawant's stunts, from where will she garner so many TRPs (or is it TPRs ?). So in a way you are getting what you deserve. Like the Geni in a bottle.

But would it be true when we talk of more serious issues ? Like the case of Swine Flu. Of course its an epidemic and we need to be very cautious about it, and its spreading fast. But hasn't the media spread faster than the flu itself and pressed the panic button on the whole nation ? to the effect that the machinery (what ever is left of it) to handle this epedemic is crippling ?

I saw the same May 09 in the US, where all the possible TV channels ran the 'Swine Flu' Sop for nearly a week giving real time counters...and after four or five days, they just switched on to another topic. The scare in India too has reached the same proportion. People are running helter-skelter because of the scare created.

Are the media czars looking for TRPs or are they really helping the society ? I dont think they are doing any good by pressing the panic button. I am not giving the lamest of excuses saying people in India die of poverty at a more alarming rate than Swine Flu ; I dont buy that argument, since poverty is not communicable.

I suggest Arnab Goswami and gang (the better off crowd from the rest) take sometime to educate persons on the following

-- What is Swine Flu

-- how does it spread

-- What should be done if you contract it

-- PRecautions

-- List of hospitals authorised for treatment and contact numbers of each city

seriously , guys, they dont show any of this.

In the mean while Dept of Telecom / IT can

-- Set up a free call center to counsel and help patients and give information

These things can be done in less than 48 hrs.

This is exactly what has been done in Britain...India can also do this.

My plea to the better channels like Times Now and NDTV, pls focus on important things to combat it and leave the sensationalization to 'Headlines Today' type of channels. And God save another episode of Burkh Dutt on Swine Flu.

And have I been party to the channels showing what they are showing ? Hell...yes....and I get the media what I deserve !

Atten-Hut

2009-08-05T00:18:00.000-07:00

I was never born in an airport or on an airplane. Not even important / interesting stuff has happened to me on airplanes ; ofcourse there are some nice people you meet and some not so nice people......and some who later on turn out to be not so interesting...now thats besides the point of discussion.

But onet hing's for sure, I do know the chores of traveling and the chores of airports and the shuttles and their shitty services and so on.

Interestingly after a long time an air hostess came to me yesterday, and explained what I need to do to adjust the seats and what I need to get the TV remote out of the arm wrest and so on. I was kind of pleased that the hostess was doing her routines and she had to pick on someone to go through her chores. But some how later I realized I was handpicked / chosen by her for a reason, she really believes that I would have trouble operating these 'complex' instruments.

Somehow, she felt, I guess ; that I am a naïve – traveling on flights for the first time. I could never understand why she felt so. She kept on coming back to me and figuring out if I was doing things right ! dont get me wrong, its not the usual chores what people do, this is personalized 'correction' program. I have always been used to plugging in my iphone and switching it off just before the plane taxis......man, there I had it, I had to shut it off even before the plane taxiing.....thanks to my over attentive hostess.....lets call her 'Komal'.....Jeez, I dont even feel like putting a disclaimer '(not her real name)'.

And while the ipod app in my iphone (being very specific on what I was playing) was switched off, I saw the blonde sitting next to me opening up the TV (we were in the frontest seats in economy) and searching for some movies.....and I thought stowing that was more important ! another Asian guy was openeing up his tray table and keeping water on it and taking a sip as if he were enjoying a single malt in a cabin ! But there is Komal, watching me in full faith until I switched off the ipod app and took off the earplugs from my ears. The blonde next to me had opened the overhead storage space to take out her book and forgot to close it ! and guess who is there ' Komal ' .

'Sir, are these your bags in this overhead storage' ?

I said' Which one of those, there are nearly four of them' .

'Either of them' – goes Komal,

'Ofcourse ', said , I 'got one of them there' .

'Can you pls help me close this bin?' :Komal

'Ofcoure I can ' I said, and got up to close the bin.......and in an experienced style (I have seen Air India hostesses / mothers do this) Komal walks off, leaving my intelligence guessing.....jerk, being a man you are the one to do this lugging thing....I am fine with that, chivalry is not yet dead.

But I keep wondering, as more and more (unwanted) attention is drawn to me from Komal. Why is she doing it ! I would have clocked more than average hours on flights among the large group of people in that cabin. Why this (unwanted) attention to me ?

When I think more, I get to these points

- Since she was Indian, she was concerned for my in flight behaviour more than other travelling nationalities

- Since she was Indian, she was more comfortable in connecting with me that the blonde on the other side

- Or may be she genuinely got a whiff that I was a bozzo traveling for the first time

- Or is it my color ? do I look less intelligent and less travelled that the blonde from Denver who just got a passport two weeks back ?

I dont know...but I thought it was very interesting. I wish they gave me this attention when I travelled with my kids and when they were yelling. Then I would have to call on them for hours to get whole milk and not skimmed.

Why do you think she was doing what she was doing ?

Golf the 20 something and 70 something's game

2009-07-09T22:54:00.000-07:00

Here's how a twenty/ thirty (Junior) something and a 60/70 (Senior) something play on saturday, just around the house, muni course...

Junior : Tees up with a beer on the side, hits a Callaway FTX ($ 300 Plus driver, gifted by his girl friend ) straight, straight....oh,oooohhh, slightly......very much,......ouch on to the right edge of the trees.......270 yard drive, 100 yards to the right...no probs, out of danger.

Senior : Tees up , normally with a fat cigar on hand.....hits a Circa 1990 Steel Callaway Big Bertha ( you got to see this Big Bertha, wonder how it got the name, its way too small :-)) 200 yards straight in the middle of fairway.

Senior goes to the fairway, while the Junior is on his cart driving at an angle 45 degrees to the right from the tee box to search for his ball.

Senior : Takes a fairway wood , swings light, gets the ball up softly on the green, a neat 150 yard shot to this slightly dog leg left hole. Well done ! up in two.

Junior : Finally has found his ball (drops a ball if no one is looking and claims he has found it), aims at the flag. The flag is now nearly 250 yards because of the dog leg. Crams a fairway wood, hits it fat and gets the ball to the edge of the rough.

Junior : Now sweating, takes a 5 iron hits a good solid shot for 200 yards in front of the green.

Junior : Tries Chipping (not his favourite), hits it past the green. Runs around while the senior waits patiently on the green. Chips it back again in to the green.

Senior : Two puts for a par (Par 4)

Junior : Three Puts for a +3

Now this is how , boys and girls , ladies and gentlemen.......many of the Jr Sr foursomes are played.

And the moral of the story is....in Golf,' its not how long you hit, its where you hit the ball that matters'

Intermittent Infrastructure

2009-07-08T22:49:00.000-07:00

The lack of infrastructure in India is so bad. Roads, Traffic Jams etc are still bearable. What about electricity outage for 10 times a day ? Internet going down almost once every hour , even after getting the most expensive premium package for homes.....the customer service guys dont even know what the hell is going on.....there is total apathy. In the US or elsewhere in the world, these basic needs are not even a headache to anyone......these are taken for granted....but in India, you cant take anything for granted when it comes to basic infrastructure.

And as I blog, I get this message "Could not contact Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail. Retrying..."

The reasons is simple, as I was blogging the internet connection went down :-)

And the moral of the story is.....if you think you can get any work done from home, think again, you have not factored in the loss of electricity and internet....time to go to office, cant get any work done from home.